Optimus Prime Time

**Warning: Spoilers ahead! Unless you've already seen it.

Waited this long to watch "Transformers 2." We practically had the theater to ourselves tonight, until two other nocturnal moviegoers joined us.

Them Robots in Disguise sure love to play in the sand! In the first sequel, their playground was the deserts of Qatar. Here, it's the sandy pastures of Egypt. And they've incorporated that age-old myth of aliens having something to do with the pyramids.

They didn't waste much time in the opening scenes to give the audience the metallic mayhem it's expecting. We also got a glimpse of pre-historic "Prime Time."

Okay, so that Decepticon college chick with the scorpion tail and five-foot tongue was disturbing. Whoever thought of that must have some weird botgirl fetish. Will this be the future replacement of the "inflatable girlfriend"?

Sam becomes the object of destruction this time around because for some reason, his brain has a built-in hieroglyphic map of the hidden location of the magical shard of the "All-Spark". (Look, Ma, I'm a walking GPS!) For these alien robots, it's the Holy Grail that resurrects the deceased extraterrestrial machines. I was shocked that they killed off Optimus Prime in the middle of the movie, but was relieved that they employed the time-tested formulaic plot that good guys never die, and bad guys keep coming back no matter how many times you kill them.

Who knew that freshman year in college could be this explosive? But then, that's Sam Witwicky for you. With 2 & 1/2 hours of film time, my bladder was about to explode. At least Rainn Wilson had an astronomical appearance, albeit brief, as Sam's professor to distract me.

I immediately recognized some scenes as shot from within the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia. How do I know? I was there just last Sunday! The most historic prison in America is also said to be haunted. I have more photos from my camera, but here's a celfone image I took there for now. It's a view of the upper level of Cell Block 7. Do you see any orbs or anything paranormal?